FW: Does everyone cheat ?

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  Hello to all of my friends, and how is everyone today ?  I hope your all doing fucking great:) As for me, I'm kinda pissed off and fucking grumpy. I was thinking to myself today, do I know anyone that doesnt' cheat on their mate...? Hmmmmm, it took me about a fucking hour, but I could rattle off a few people. Overall, however, almost everyone I know, is getting sex from someone OTHER then the person they are with. I wonder why that is? Let's all take a look at this issue.
 
  You two meet, and fall in love. Isn't love just grand? Oh, it's so wonderful, just like a spring time rose. Your happy, and giddy. You just can't be away from the "love of your life". The sun just wouldn't rise in the morning, if "they" were not in your life. You two make plans together, and forever is right around the ole' corner now !!
 
  Not so fast there smarty pants. Let me be the fucking sour apple in the apple bucket of love. Let me be the winter for your "spring time rose". Odds are, unless you are with a one of the few rare people in the world, your mate is gonna fuck someone, I promise you that. "No way, my baby wouldn't have sex with another man" a buddy of mine recently said. "She loves me...blah blah blah". Yea right, whatever you say. I didn't have the heart to tell him his wife flat out, balls to the wall, hit on me the day before he said that. Not that I would ever fuck a friend over by fucking his wife, but boy she is a hotty for real, and his is an idiot for not seeing how she really is.
 
  A good buddy of mine just had a baby, and the kid is adorable. I sooo fucking love babies !! They are the greatest gift the world can give anyone. Anyway, so he has this baby, fresh out of the easy bake oven. His girl friend is a sweet heart too. She is a totally beautiful girl. She has a personality to match her pretty face. So why the fuck would he want to cheat on her ?  A married chick we both know, was telling me how he has been trying to hook up with her, but she won't do it....with him!! She has readily admitted she has cheated on her husband before, and that she will again. Hey, at least she is honest, right ? Do you think her husband cheats too?
 
  So why do people cheat ? I was talking to this lady, that I never met before in my life. She came by my job, to give a surprise visit to a buddy of mine she has been sleeping with. In case you have not guessed it, he is married too. So myself, and another married buddy I work with, start talking to her. She tells us that she cheats because her husband does not give her the attention she wants and needs. She said that she loves her husband and their children, but the "passion" is gone from relationship. She also told us that her husband just will not "kiss the kitty". Her relationship has gotten so bad with her husband, she told us her 13 daughter even tells her to leave him !!
 
  So now my buddy chimes in. He tells us after the birth of his kids, his wife became as frozen as the ice berg that sunk the fucking Titanic. He tells us about all of the moves he puts on the ice box he calls a wife, and she just won't budge. The pussy is locked up tighter than the receipe for the Coca Cola formula. Well, long story short, she leaves her cell phone number for our other buddy, the one she came to see.
 
  The next day, the "other" buddy tells me the friend I was with called this chick, and boy is he pissed off. I'm thinking to myself, let me get this straight: my one married buddy, is mad at our other married buddy, for calling the married chick he is screwing. Is that fucking insane, or am I the only one who thinks this ? You see how fucking complicated things can get when you cheat ?
 
  While through out the course of history, there have always been cheaters, I think today it's at epic level proportions. I really believe a part of it, is that people cheat more, because they see less of each other. Everyone now days has to work two and three jobs, just to pay for fucking gasoline !! I also think the problem is  MTV, and all of the shitty music out there on the radio too. A lot of the images we see and the music we hear today, talks about "fucking bitches, Pimpin', being a whoe, slappin dat booty", and all kinds of other shit like that. Whether you relize it or not, these stupid things really do shape the way society thinks. Slowly but surely, the concept of the quick fuck, and fucking around has really become not only socially acceptable, but actually the in thing to do. And hell, you know the government is behind this sexual propoganda, cause the more people are out fucking, the less they are thinking about how they are getting fucked in the ass with no vasoline by the government, day in and day out. 
 
  My favorite group of cheaters, are the bible thumpers. Shit, even when I was growing up, I knew that if I met a catholic girl, I wasn't gonna fuck her, but she was gonna FUCK ME :) I don't even go to church, and I can tell you of about 50 preachers and pastors I have heard about from friends that do go to church, having to leave the congragation, cause they got caught fucking around. I guess these jack offs figure if they ask god for forgiveness after they are done fucking, god will be ok with it.
 
  The irony of all this infidelity going on, is that the one's who are out there fucking around, would be DESTROYED if they found out they were getting played too. A pal of mine litterally cheats all of the time. This fucker cheats so much, he even has his own apartment !! Now when I say his own apartment, get a load of this. This fucker is married with kids. He he has a big house, and a devoted wife. Of course he works a lot, so there's  his excuse for not being home much. He gets sooo much ass on the side, he went out and got an apartment, that his wife obviously has no idea about. Not only that, he has been seeing this other girl that doesn't know he is married, and she wants to get an apartment with him. Now, here is the kicker, he is actually thinking about moving in with her too!!! Is he fucking insane ? The worst part is, I was giving him shit one day telling him, his wife doesn't care if he comes home all the time or not, cause she is probably getting ass on the side too. He looked at me like I just asked him if I could ass fuck his mom, while another guy jerked off in her face. He was pissed. In a very honest and sincere voice, he says to me "I'd fucking kill her if she were cheating on me". Hellllooooo, reality check in isle 6 please.
 
  I guess the morale of the story is this. If your out there fucking around, there's a good chance your mate is gonna too. Contrary to what all of these "playa's" think, people know when they are getting cheated on. It may not be something the other side can put their finger on, but trust me, they always know. You gotta ask yourself a couple of questions before you go out and get some strange. Do you think if you devoted as much time into the relationship your in, as opposed to getting some ass on the side, your relationship might actually be pleasent enough, to where you won't NEED to go get some strange ass ?
 
  Are you willing to risk losing everything you have at home, for the chance to get a piece of ass, that has probably been had by more guys than Madonna or Paris Hilton? And let's not forget the subject of sexually transmitted dieseases. Do you really want to bring some exploding pussy illness home to the mother of your children ? For the cheaters out there, remeber this. If you just can't help but fuck like a rabbit, that's fine. At least have the balls to tell your mate you are done, or work on having some type of open relationship with your partner. An example of this is going to swingers clubs. What's good for the goose is always good for the gander, isn't that how the saying goes ? Stop being a pussy about it, and be proud of your labeto. The whole concept of "adventure with security" is great, when you are the one out there fucking. Myself, having been on the other end of that type of relationship can tell you first hand, it sucks. it hurts, and it's just not fucking cool.
 
  It's your ass, now go figure out how your gonna give it up.
 
  Be safe,
  Ferg
   
 
  
 
  
 
 

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FW:

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Hello my friends. I'm gonna touch on a subject today, that really pisses me off. While I know we have covered a lot of crap on this site, here's something we have not. Ya see, my good buddy Kevin's web sights got hacked into, and all of the hard work he has put into his assorted web sites was deleted. That's right kids, deleted. Some really bored mother fucker, with nothing better to do with his or her time, went into his web servers computer, and knocked the shit out of everything he had. Before I really go off on these ass fuckers, lets back up the truck a pinch.

When PC's first came out, they kinda sucked. Actually, they really sucked big time. My dad had one of the first Apple's that came out, and even as a kid I was like "this shit really sucks". My dad, being the man that he was, hated that Apple worse than I did, but his buddy had a hard on for it like Johnny fucking Holmes. He would sit in front of that piece of shit for HOURS. To this day, I still have no idea what he was doing, but anyway. So my dad gave him the computer. Until the day my pop passed on, he never touched another PC again. I guess that fucking Apple was like the "hot stove" of the computer world for my dad.

So back to the story. The point I'm getting at here is this. Computers were simple. You could play pong, do some nifty little shit to impress your friends, like make a dancing stick figure, and shit like that. But, they were simple. As computers got more advanced, a weird thing happened. The term computer "virus" came into being. When I first heard the term, I was fucking amazed. Wow, computers can get viruses like people. That's some crazy shit. I didn't know for a good couple of years, these viruses were MAN MADE. And that is no lie. Me, in my simple little, Atari 2600 playing world, really thought these "viruses" were made by some other magical and mysterious means. Hey, I never said I was fucking smart, and I know about half of my readers are thinking "that dude is a dumb fuck".

So, I thought to myself, there are really people that "make" these viruses? Hmmmm, that's really weird. Why would someone do that ? Well, lets see. There are a LOT of people making money off of ANTI-VIRUS programs for computers, could it be a big corporate scam ? Well DUH, of course the first computers viruses were, and if anyone tells ya different, tell him that you also believe the fucking moon is made of Swiss cheese. The problem with the advent of the "virus", was it set off a god damn ticking time bomb in some fucking nerd's head !!!!!

Somewhere out there, some fucking nerd was sitting on his fucking lonely bed, in his lonely house, in his fucking dork ass lonely world, and thought, "hmmmm, that's pretty cool, but watch this shit world". So fucking Nerd man, lord of the one man circle jerk, figures he's gonna make the world pay, like a non funny Dr. Evil. "Bridgett said she would rather take her retarded brother Phil to the prom then me" , "That hooker said she wouldn't fuck me, even though I offered her two thousand dollars, cause she said my ball's smelled like her dad's ass", "Revenge of the nerds was obviously a fantasy movie, cause those nerds got laid". Yup, this fucker was BITTER.

He may not have gotten attention before, but now, in a passive agresive way, the world was gonna pay, one way or the other. So Nerd man makes a computer virus, FOR FREE, FOR FUN!! And just like a real virus, the concept of hacking into computers and viruses spread, from one nerd, to another nerd, to another nerd. Which brings us to the here and now.

Poor Kev's shit got hacked, virused, and deleted. Why may you ask, would someone do this ? Why would someone spend countless hours, creating things, and doing things to fuck other people's shit up ? To tell you the truth, I have no fucking idea. What I can tell you is this. These people must be some BORED mother fuckers. Granted, they are obviously smart mother fuckers, cause it takes a lot of talent, and brains to do shit like that, but....To any computer people that get off on doing shit like this, I want you to know, your all fucking ignorant. Take a deep breath, and step away from the computer. Go outside and play catch with your dog. Watch a movie....in a theater, not off of your PC. Go buy a porno DVD, and jerk off. I do that one all the time and it's fun :)

While you make think that your really smart and cool, all your really doing is showing the rest of the world that you are lonely, and have low self esteem. You obviously feel insignificant, and the only time you feel like you are in control of ANYTHING, is when your fucking up other people's shit. Unlike real vandals, who do their shit up close and personal, you hide behind your computer monitor, inflicting damage usually, from thousands of miles away. What kind of pussy ass shit is that ? You fucking cowards. If you wanna break someone's shit, at least have the balls to do it with your own two hands. Not with your carpel tunnel filled fingers. If any of you need someone to talk to, write to me. I will gladly be your pen pal, and try to develope your social skills. Volunteer your time, to using your skills to do some good !! Go set up computer programs at nursing homes for the residents, so maybe someone's grandma can e-mail her fucking grand kids, which might just make her whole fucking month, never mind her day !!

To all of you computer nerds who do evil things with your skills, the moral of the story is this. You have a great talent, that can do a lot of good for lots of people. Use your talents for good things, not bad ones. Most computer owners are just like you, working hard to make ends meet, and when you fuck up our computers, you cost us regular dumb folks A LOT of money to fix our shit. Look at fucking Bill Gates. He was one of you, a computer nerd that is. He used his powers for good, and look at that RICH fuck. I envy all of you nerdy computer bastards, cause I wish I had the smarts ya'll have, and that's no frigging joke. Now stop being a bunch of assholes, and go do something good. And by all means, get out a little, life is passing you by. Go intermingle with people. Get away from the computer. You might have a whole new out look on things.

Be safe,

Ferg

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When to say enough

  Hello my friends, how are we today ? I noticed a few typos in my "space sex" piece, and I will fix 'em, I promise. Now that I got the ole' apology out of the way. Let's get to todays lesson shall we ?

 

  While writing back and forth with a friend of mine from Deleware, it came up in the course of the typed conversation, about knowing when to say "enough". There are many circumstances when the word "enough" should be used, and we will try to cover some of them right now:)

 

  The most obvious time of course, is when we are DRINKING. For some unknown reason, many of us just don' t know when to use the words, "enough", "no more", "I'm done". Instead the only time we stop are when these words come up, "I'm gonna throw up", "please make the room stop spinning", "where am I", and "of course I would love to fuck you, whats your name again"?

 

  I think a big problem with drinking, is that it's a social event. We meet up with our frineds, and we all go out to have a good time. So now everyone's at the bar, throwing a few back, and then a few more. Now everyone's pretty toasted, and feeling good, and this is where it should stop....but nooooooooo. What happens next you ask ? Ya'll know the answer, your just not thinking hard enough.

 

  Some asshole in the group say's "another round for everyone"! The one brave soul in the group say's "no, I'm good". I don't know why this happens, but saying anything close to these words is like shitting in the bowl of holly water at church. All of the other people in the group look at this person like they said "I just fucked your mom, and I have full blown Herpes AND aids".

 

  I don't know at what point in time, it became so uncool to STOP drinking at a ceratin point. It's not a fucking competion. There is NOTHING cool about throwing your fucking gut's up, and being hung over for the next two day's. If you feel like you have hit your drinking limit, say the magic word "enough". Be a mold breaker, and just say it. Fuck anyone that tells you different. Remind the asshole that call's you a "wussy" , we are NOT in high school anymore, and that if you do throw up, your gonna make sure it's right in their fucking stupid face:)

 

  Another circumstance when we should use the word "enough", is when we are eating. Why is it so hard to say "enough" when it comes to eating? Is it lack of sex? Are we trying to make up for something missing in our lives with food? As far as lack of sex goes, it's kinda a vicious cycle. The less sex we get, the more we eat, and the more we eat, the less sex we get. This is because we keep getting fatter and fatter. The fatter we get, the less appealing we are to the opposite sex, and the next thing you know, your jerking off with your right hand, while holding a twinkie in your left.

 

  This could really be a dangerous situation too, because lord know's no one wants to eat their own "creamy filling". "Hmmmm, this creamy filling is kinda tart today, and a little salty too". The next thing you know, your firing off a letter to the folks at Hostess cakes, bitching about the salty cream filling. Obviously, the guy that wrote you the response letter is a tubby fuck too, because HE KNOWS what happened: Dear sir, it is highly recommended that you do not masterbate your penis, while eating a twinkie...your's truly, Hostess cakes. Holly shit, how did that fucking guy know ?

 

  The biggest situation, in which we need to say "enough", is in the relationship department. At what point in a relationship do we need to say enough ?  When there is more pain in the relationship then pleasure. When you spend more time apart from each other fighting, then you do together having fun. When you know in your heart your mate is out meeting new people, and just keeping you around as a saftey net.

 

  Why is it soooo hard to bail out of a failing relationship ? The answer is simple. No one likes to get rejected by someone they love. For some reason, it's human nature to believe that if we give up, that is when the other person will cave in, and hook up with someone else. When in reality, they have been getting busier then a horney beaver for months. While deep down inside we know this, we pretend that we don't. We make believe that if we stick it out just a bit longer, maybe the other person will see the light, and relize you are the true love of their life.

 

  When do you know when to stay in a troubled relationship ? I can't phrase it any better than my friend from Delaware when she said "when the other person is fighting as hard to save the relationship as you are". Wow Dana, truier words have never been spoken.

 

  The moral of the story is this: Anything in moderation is cool, and when things are going good, go with the flow and have fun. Don't let the "fun", however, cloud your judgement. Relize when the fun is over, and futher indulgence in food, wine, or relaionships may be harmeful to your health, be it emotional or physical.

 

  Now go get drunk, and go have sex with your cheating mate. Then stumble into your local IHOP, and eat like a fuckjng pig ....just kidding :)

 

  be safe,

  ferg

 

space sex

  Let Me start by saying, I KNOW IT'S BEEN A FUCKING WHILE !!!!! It's been way to long. I must get e-mails every day saying "Hey bag o' shit, weres the goods, you goofy stupid bastard!!!! I know I have promised in the past, that we were back,,,,blah blah fucking blah. Well, this time its for real. I'am back, and I'am here to advise, bitch, moan, and maybe get laid once in a blue moon to boot.

 

  Speaking of the moon, this brings me up to a subject I would like to discuss. A subject that actually got started in a bar the other night, by yours truly. If by some miricle of miricles, you were choosen to fly on the space shuttle, what would you do ? What whould you bring with you? A great camara, your significant others picture, your whubbie ?

 

  Well, this subject got tossed around by myself, and a few friends. Everyone had their two cents worth of predictable shit the would bring, or shit they would do while the were in space. I got two words for all of the people's responses I heard the other night: FUCKING BORING !!!!

 

  I was like, HELLOOOOOOO, if you got one chance in a life time to fly on the space shuttle, you'd bring a fucking roll of quarters and some tiny ameriacan flags ?? Did anyone tell this brain dead bitch, every fucking astronot has done this....ALREADY !! "Come on people" I cried!! "You can do better than that, much better".

 

  "Ok smarty dick", a cry came from the crowd, "what would you bring, what would you do"? Funny you should ask...heheheheeh. Well, for starters, I would check the size of those big pockets, on those bright orange flight suits, to see who much shit I could smuggle into space. The fuckers look pretty damn big, so I'am sure the could hold ALOT!!!

 

  My first trip before pre flight, would be right to the local liquer store. Once there I would get some limes, salt, and a bottle of Patron tequila. That's right, Patron. Nothing is to good for my trip into outer space. My next step would be to my local doctor. Yup that's right, my doctor. I would tell him I have been really anxious as of late, and I can't fall asleep...cha ching!! Now I have got me some xanax and some ambien.

 

  The next part of my space picinic basket would require me to call an old friend whom I call the lawn mower man. I call him this cause nobody's better at getting weed when it's needed then him. Now that I have all my zero G goodies, the next thing I would do is start to get VERY close to the hottest girl on the flight.

 

  I use the term "hottest" loosly, because there are not many good looking female astronots. There are some that are pretty damn hot, but I would have to assume with my luck, I'll be flying with the ugly ones, so this is were the "picnic basket will most definetly help.

 

  Ok, now we are on the launch pad, all of my pockets filled with contraband. I' am not only ready to fly into space, I'am ready to be "higher" then all of the other astronots combined. "THREE"..."TWO"..."ONE"...BLAST OFF, the cool voice over dude announces, and whoooosh...off we go into space. What all of the other nerds I'm sitting with on the shuttle don't relize, is that I have been in orbit for the past hour prior, thanks to the lawn mower man, who modified the  breather in my space helmet with a pipe, screen, and a bowl.

 

  Thank god for those super reflective space visors. Anyway, we are in orbit now, and its time to get down to our orange flight suits, the ones with all of the pockets, of mine which are filled with my "major tom" space goodies. On this flight, we have an American pilot, and co-pilot. Down below on "B" deck, its myself, Gurtrude, and Rebecca.

  Gurtrude is this thick, somewhat hairy Russian gal, and Rebecca is a little blond haired nerdy Canadian girl. While the two guys in the cock pit are doing cock pit things, I ask these two space lovelys if they want to party. Before I go on, however, lets talk about the term "cock pit". Since technecally speaking, a girls vagina is a "cock pit", why don't they call it the "pussy pit" ? I was just wondering....sorry.

 

  Anyway, these two nerdy girls think by partying, I mean have some celebratory orange juice. I let them believe that for a sec. I whip out my trusty Patron, and put it into a jello cup. I tell them to open up, as I flick salt at their mouths. To see that salt flying in zero g, in a straight line right to their lips, would be a sight to be seen, but it can only get better.

 

  I flick my finger tip at the back of the jello cups, and two balls of Patron go flying across the cabin, not veering an inch off course to the intended targets, Rebbeca's and Gurtrude's mouths. Like two trained dolphins, both girls, using their mouths only, scoop up the Patron. The party has officially begun.

 

  Now to my readers, picture this is you in this situation. So far, would you not have done the same fucking thing ? You bet your sweet ass you would !! So now you have these two female astronots flyiing all over the cabin, chasing big giggly balls of Patron, and getting drunker by the minute. Shit another couple of shots, we could be looking at the next girls gone wild video, coming to you live from outter space.

 

  This leads us up to our next point, and I asked this to some of my married friends. If you had  the chance to fuck one of the female astronots in space, even if it ment cheating on your wife or husband, would you ? They were all like "no way". Well, I have two words for them...fucking lying bithces!! Imagine what it would be like to fuck in zero gravity ?? Holy shit, that would be the best sex anyone could ever possibly have....period!!

 

  I would fuck the ugliest bicth on the shuttle just to get some extra terrestrial ass!! I wouldn't care if when Gurtrude took off her flight suit, and she had a full set of hair panties sprouting 3 feet from her groin. Sometimes, for the sake of science, we have to put oursleves second, and for this "experiment", I would be the number one volunteer.

 

  Well, I know how my senario would really go. I would quickly strike out with Rebbeca and Gurtrude, cause they are a bunch of spineless nerds. Oh boy, oh fuck, only one thing left to do. If I make it to space, I'am at least busting a fucking nut in space. With no gravity to stop it, the giz will go off like a cannon shot..!!!

 

  I would be cranking my dick faster and faster, until I let out a little "umph", and off it goes. Gurtrude, who was trying to make it look like she wasn't watching what I was doing, see's my white lightning seamen ball flying straight for her, and she manages to push off the bulkhead, sending her flying harmlessly out of the way of my intergaltic manhhod.

 

  Rebecca on the other hand was not so lucky. You see, Gurtrude and Rebecca were standing right next to each other, working on the same experiment. Gurtrude showed her true feelings for Rebecca by muttering not a single word, in regards to the in coming giz bomb. Right before impact, Rebecca turned right towards the flying white furry, a split second before it made impact, with her face!!!

 

  With no garvity to help her, it did not oozzzzzeee down her cheeks, towards her chin. Shit, I didn't even budge. Being the professional she was, Rebecca did not say a single word, kicked off of the bulkhead nearest to her, and flew right to the space pottie, where she threw up for about twenty minutes. The smarty pants that I 'am, I know this would be the cum shot of a life time, so I would make sure I got it on tape.

 

  Come on guys and girls, you know that come shot would show up in about every porno made. I would make a huge profit off of one lillte squirt :) Well, now as we were getting our gear on, to prepare to land, I relized Rebecca was a tad more pissed than I thought. As I put on my flght helmet, I felt something warm and most in my helmet, which was followed by a horrible smell. No, it wasn't the tree gallons of throw up she had let loose, it was about five pounds of Rebecca's freshly made shit!!! Touche Rebecca, Touche !!:)

 

  Well kids, here is the moral of the story. In this world, if you ever get the chance to do something few people ever get the chance to do, live totally for that moment!! Think outside of the box. Make your experiance and experiance NO ONE has ever had before, even if it means masterbaiting in outter space.

 

  In this world, very seldom do opportunities come up, where we literally get the chance of a life time to do something. Since it's your life, and your memories, make the moment count !!!!

 

  Be safe..ferg

 

 

   

 

How many people can I piss off ???

  Hello my friends. I'am sooo sorry I have been gone for so long, but like a good case of genital herpes, I'am back. As you all know, I have kinda drifted off of the face of the earth. Even a super hero like me has his limits, and I have reached mine. While my mind has gone from normal, and into the twilight zone of insanity, I would like to apologize to all of the people I have pissed off and hurt along the way.

 

  To give you all the update, since my wife left me, I got really hurt at work, and now I walk around like a fucking 90 year old with a broken hip. It won't be forever thank god, but let me tell ya, when it rains, it fucking comes down in buckets. It wouldn't be so bad, except it's actually the  buckets that are hitting me, not the fucking water.

 

  Ok, now lets start with my apology list shall we ? To my wife. I'am very sorry all of this shit happened. As you have already figured out, all of this shit was over nothing. I'am sorry you didn't believe me when I told you at the beginning of all of our problems.

 

  To my sisters. I'am sorry I have been so distant, but we all must follow our own path when it comes to dealing with our problems. Some people, like to surround themselves with tons of people, in order to drown out their pain. Well, like one of my other pieces stated, I like my pain. I needed to hurt as much as could, because once you hit rock bottom, the only place to go is up.

 

  To Frankie and Kev. Man, you two guys have been my life line for real. You two are the best friends anyone can ask for. Nuff said.

 

  To Beth. I'am sorry things didn't work out. You are a sweet heart for real. Be advised, I NEVER SAID ANY OF THE SHIT that you were told I said. I know you probably hate me cause of all of the shit talking, but believe me, I never said any of that retarded stuff. If anything, all of the stuff I said about you was nice.

 

  While there were probably many other people I pissed off, I will address them some other time. I gotta start another piece about how great all of the pain medicine that the doctors gave me was.

 

  Be safe,

  Ferg

 

Dana's update

  Oh my dear sweet Dana. Let me start by saying you do not sound pathetic at all. There is not a single person over the age of 10, that can honestly say they have not felt the kind of pain you are feeling. We all have hurt like you are now, so stop with that "pathetic" stuff right now young lady. Now that I am armed with more info, from the last two e-mails you sent, we are gonna dig deeper into what your going through.

 

  The one thing you told me was he cheated on you, and that's why you broke up. That's a big problem right there, but here is how it gets multiplied by a million. Once he cheated on you, and you two split up, I'am sure you were devastated. The pattern for the rest of the relationship was set, however, when you kept telling him how much you cared. I'am sure you also told him you wanted him back. That was a big mistake, because by doing this, you gave him the green light to treat you like shit.

 

  So now we got ole cock boy, thinking his shit does not stink one bit. He has this girl (you) madly in love with him, even though he cheated like a fucking dog. Just like the first push on a domino, once the first one falls, its hard to stop them. Its pretty obvious from what you have told me, you have never drawn a line in the sand, and said "if you cross this line, fuck off and die you piece of shit". He keeps pushing you, because you allow him to.

 

  This is were the distant but friendly part comes into play. If he didn't need you in his life, he would have stopped talking to you a long time ago. The thing is however, he does. You make him feel good about himself, and you do it for FREE!!! You make no demands on him whatsoever. All he has to do, is sit back, and enjoy the ego trip you give him. He is used to the attention after all this time. Believe me, when you cut it off, which hopefully you will, he will notice it.

 

  You wrote in you follow up e-mail, you have been trying the "distant" approach, but it has not been working. Well remember what I told you. It is gonna take a least a week to really sink into ol'e boys head, that you are pulling away.  Plus, I get the feeling your only making a half hearted effort. I know your not a game player, but its pretty clear you have had no luck in the past.

 

  Look at this like a game of poker. A good poker player NEVER shows his/her own hand. They never let the other players see what's going on inside of their heads. They always keep their "poker face" up, whether they have four aces, or a shitty hand. You must do the same thing. At this point, you have nothing to lose, and your sanity to gain.

 

  Keep trying the ol'e "distant" method. Trust me sweetie, you'll get his attention. In the mean time, you need to focus on other things like your friends, other guys...etc  You need to free up your mind, and stop wasting all of your emotional energy on him, and put it to better use. Use it on YOU :)

 

 

FW: Dana seeks some advice

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  Hello to all my friends. I'am sorry I have been away for so long. So much shit has been going on in my dumb ass life, I can hardly believe it. The shit has been mostly bad too. That is not what we are here to discuss today. Our good friend Dana is seeking some advice. Dana my love, I am gonna give it to you straight. We will fix this problem. Lets see what Dana had to say.

 

  "I have been in love with this guy for two years. We were friends, dated and broke up. We managed to stay friends, but it has never been the same. I miss him and I want to be with him again. Sometimes I feel like he might want the same thing. But then he won't return my phone calls and then when he does he is distant and kind of cold. I know he is dating a few girls, but he never admits to it when we talk. I feel like he hides things from me. Why wouldn't he just tell me the truth? It is not like we are dating. He knows how I feel about him, but he never tells me how he feels. Is he just using me and wants to keep me hanging on? Or is there something I am missing? You seem to know guys pretty well, so I would appreciate any help you could give".

 

  Oh my dear Dana. Let me start by saying you sound like a real sweet heart. You seem like a great girl, and I'am sorry you have been caught up in a bad deal, and that's what you have here. Let me explain what has been going on. The one thing I wish you would have told me, is why did you two break up ? It's ok though, I think I got this one pegged anyway.

 

  From everything you have told me in your letter, it sounds to me like this guy is a piece of shit. It's pretty obvious, you have been very honest with him. You have told him how much you care about him, and all you have gotten is dumped on like a chump. Believe me sweetie, I don't think for one second you are anything but wonderful. I don't even know your ex-boyfriend and I don't like him already.

 

  The problem you are dealing with, all revolves around the fact your ex doesn't want you right now, but he does not want anyone to have you neither. Believe me, he knows how you feel, and it makes him feel really good. You have become the emotional safety net, in his tight rope of life. The irony is, he needs you more than you need him, you just don't know it. Be advised though, this guy is a selfish son of a bitch, and he is the LAST thing you need in your life. Let me explain.

 

  You both dated and broke up. The reason is not that important, as to why you two split up. The bottom line is, the both of you maintained a relationship after the break up. Even though you said you guys stayed friends, you obviously made it very clear to him, you still loved him, and wanted to be with him. He responded by giving you some crumbs right ? The ole dreaded "string along". I bet every time he gave you a crumb, one of two things happened.

 

  The first one is this. He probably had a very bad dating experience or someone he was dating blew him off. He likes some chick, and she gives him the ole heave ho like you should. Damn, he is hurting right ? Little Suzie Bitchass just hurt your true loves feelings, and he is hurting. Well, if you were him, were would you go to help heal your battered and bruised ego ?

 

  Hmmmm, let me see. If I were him, I would go to the one person in the whole world that I know loves me. A person that thinks I'am a great guy, even though Suzie thinks I'am a dick bag. A person who strokes my ego with her unconditional love. That would be you Dana. I'am positive you make this guy feel like gold. Lots of compliments, praise, and love. You have put your ex on a pedestal, and he loves it. It makes him feel good.

 

  The second thing is this. I bet there are plenty of times you get sick of this shit. Somewhere in your head, the smart part of you is screaming to the heart part of you "fuck this guy, he is an asshole". Occasionally, this part of you actually gets a chance to show itself, and when it does, he notices it. You may not, but he really does, trust me on this one.

 

  So now your ready to tell you ex to fuck off, and he feels the heat. He can't lose you, because he needs you. Remember, you make him feel great. He knows that no matter what, you will always be there. Because you make him feel great, and he does need you, anytime he feels like you may move on with your life, he gets nervous. He starts to give you attention, because  he has to reel you back in.

 

  He doesn't give you to much attention, because he doesn't want to start a new relationship with you. He wants to keep things the way they are, because he has it fucking GREAT!! He can  go out and fuck around, and not have to worry about being held accountable to you. He can get all the love he needs from you, when he needs it. When he doesn't need it, he can just put it back up and the shelf, until he needs you again.

 

  The way he is, is all your fault, because you have allowed it. You were the one who set the standard to which you both now live by. You were the one, who because of the fact you love him, have taken him back into your heart, no matter what he does. You never drew the proverbial "line in the sand". I know right now your thinking I'am a dick head, but sweetie I'am right.

 

  The first mistake you made, was thinking that if you took all of his shit, he would come around. You thought if you loved him unconditionally, he would eventually think "wow, this is a great girl, I love her". This may work in the movies  Dana, but in real life it doesn't amount to shit, because people suck ! Now, do not think I'am downing you, because I'am not. The only thing you are really guilty of, is being a person in love. People tend not to think to well when they are in love, and that is why I'am here my darling to guide you through all of the shit.

 

  Now, lets turn the tables on him shall we Dana ? Here is what you need to do. First of all, no more telling him how you feel. No more telling him how much you love him, and want to be with him again. I know it will be hard for you, but you are only shooting yourself in the foot. You must stop calling him as much, and when you talk to him, keep the conversation short. Be "DISTANT BUT FRIENDLY".

 

  If you have read my other stuff, you have heard this term before. If you have not, let me clue you in. Always be friendly when you talk, but not over friendly. Treat him like you would treat a good acquaintance. Don't lay out all your cards on the table, whenever you speak. Don't call him every day, or take his calls all the time.

 

  You need to make him start to wonder what is up with you. Make him think "geez, she isn't mad at me, but she sure is acting different". By being distant but friendly, what you are doing is you are making him guess what you are doing. Your silently planting the seed in his head, that you may have found someone new. He'll be asking himself "where are all of the usual compliments...where is the love...why is Dana acting different...she is kinda of distant now". "Did she meet someone" ?

 

  What happens next is he will start to doubt himself. He will start to crave your approval again. Like I said, he needs you more than you need him. You just have to make him realize it, by taking about 20 steps back away from him. You will find, that he will be the one to call you all of the time. He will start giving YOU compliments. He will start to tell YOU how much he cares.

 

  It will be hard at first Dana, because it seems like you are not a game player. Like I told you, you appear to be a great girl. You HAVE to fight the urge to call him as  much as you usually do. You HAVE to fight the urge to tell him how you feel about him. Believe me girl, he ALREADY knows how you feel, so no more, You got it ? We need to take him off of that huge pedestal you have placed him on. We need to make that fucker stand down here, with the rest of us shit heads.

 

  It may take a week, two weeks, a month. Whatever you do, DO NOT GIVE IN. The first week or so, he will be in denial, so you might not see any results. The whole key here, is to stick it out. I can promise you, IT WORKS EVERY TIME. Now, here is the next part of my advise.

 

  Why do you love him ? Why do you want to be with someone that keeps you hanging ? Why do you want to be with someone who tells you half truths ? Like I said, you seem like a really cool girl, and you deserve better than that, cause you are better than that. I know love is a hard thing to fight, but look at is this way. If he is doing this shit already, why do you want to be with him still? He is obviously an immature guy, or he would not be playing stupid games.

 

  He also appears to be a selfish bitch. You said you two are still friends right ? Well let me tell you, if he really cared about you, he would not lead you on. If he REALLY cared about you, and not himself, he would WANT you to meet a really nice guy. He would openly encourage you to go hook up with some really cool guy, but he doesn't.

 

  Its ok for him to go play the field, all the while you are left holding a bag full of his emotional luggage. The most important person in this guys life is HIM. You don't need that my love. You need someone who is not selfish. You need someone who will put you before himself. This guy has been holding you back, from the chance to find a good guy, for his on selfish needs. I think you are in love with what you want this guy to be, not what he really is. Dana, he will NEVER be the guy you are in love with, because he does not exist.

 

  If you follow my advice, you will get the chance to be with him again. The question is, do you really want to be with him ? Write me back and let me know how it goes ok ? Or just write me back to tell me how you are doing, ok Dana ? Thanks sweetie, take care of yourself :)

 

  be safe,

  Ferg